Top on that list…going to work. So, being the stickler for independence and going against the grain, that’s just what I did. I went to work today. With a skull-splitting, earth-shattering, jab-your-eyeball-out-with-a-butcher-knife headache. And I work in customer service. So today was, for lack of a better word, or just for the sake of the discerning reader, interesting.
The type of conversations you get into when your brain is playing whack-a-mole with a sledgehammer are pretty outstanding. Such as deciding to remodel your expansive bookstore and turn it into a giant pet shop equipped with pygmy elephants and hippopotamus, Siberian tigers and llamas…oh, and your everyday dogs, cats, reptiles, rodents, and birds. A fine concept, but highly unlikely. Another topic for consideration today? Well, actually, a topic for consideration everyday, regardless of the state of one’s head. The intelligence of the customers that shop at bookstores.
Now you’d think that having an average if not high IQ would be a prerequisite for patronizing an establishment such as a bookstore. Not so, I have come to realize. A few highlights from my past year in customer service at this store are as follows. Customers calling in to the store, being greeted with the store name and associate, and asking for the phone number for said store…interesting. Being approached frantically by a customer right before closing and being asked, ‘Can you show me the book section?’ in a perfectly serious and urgent manner. Needless to say, I was more than able to assist said customer without delay. Although it took him several minutes of aimlessly browsing and chatting with associates to realize we had closed quite a while previously. And today’s wonderful addition to the list of humorous inquiries. A customer approaches me at the service desk with a magazine, which he places on the counter, looking at me expectantly. Seeing that I am obviously not going to do anything with said magazine, he asks me if the desk with the gargantuan sign that says ‘Customer Service’ behind it is where he can pay for his item. I respond with, ‘If you would like to pay for your item, you can take them to the checkout (which is also very prominently labeled) or to the cafe.’ I point for further clarification. To which the customer glances back in that general direction with a disappointed look, and returns his attention to me. Picking up his magazine, he pushes it closer. ‘Can’t I just pay here?’ he asks, slightly annoyed with my attempts to defer him, I presume. Smiling a wonderfully patronizing smile, I shake my head and apologize. He sighs in frustration and curses his misfortune, literally. And he proceeds to head over to one of the checkout areas. I see him later wandering around the store, bag with magazine in hand. It seems it wasn’t that uncomfortable experience for him to checkout at the checkout line as he had previously thought. Or so I hope.
But enough about my very dry and sarcastic humor pertaining to my wonderful customer service experiences. There are many more, but I try to follow the adage ‘everything in moderation’. We shall see how that pans out. All thats left to say is that I am hopelessly bogged down trying to plan out the next chapter of my fanfiction I am writing. Don’t be surprised if it showcases a person afflicted with a tortuous headache, as I feel a bit biased right now and think I will relish inflicting my malady on the poor unsuspecting characters. But we shall see.
And with that, I shall wrap up, and rest assured I will be attempting to render myself unconscious for the rest of the evening with some soothing music and cool breezes. Unfortunately, I don’t really ascribe to medicating myself at every opportunity, so I must content myself with the holistic approach. Wish me luck!